Focus on what you have instead of dwelling on what you don't have.
Us humans are hardwired to pick out things that are wrong or imperfect in this world. We can be so harsh on each other, but more often than not, we are the harshest on ourselves. Living our lives this way means we never get to feel true joy or peace or acceptance because absolutely nothing is perfect and therefore there will always be something else to dwell on. There are wants that all of us have that sometimes cannot be fulfilled like bringing back a deceased loved one or repairing a broken relationship or even being two foot taller than we'd like or having a naturally small waist. By focusing our attention on these absent, people, things, experiences, we place more suffering on ourselves. Instead, how would it be to bring your attention to all that you have? All of the wonderful people in your life be it friends, colleagues, family members, neighbours, club members etc. Your body that is far from perfect but supports you everyday- to breathe, to break down food, to exercise, to simply walk across the room. Money that allows you to have a car under you, to buy yourself nice food, to pay the bills.
For any of the things I've mentioned above, instead of focusing on what's lacking, focus on what you have. When I practice this I feel a sense of gratitude that I can get from A to B in my car, even if it is old and not as clean as I'd like, I feel grateful that I have so many special people in my life even though some that were once here are absent, I feel grateful that I can go to meet a friend for a coffee even though I'd prefer to be able to treat her to a meal somewhere, I feel grateful for my body supporting me everyday even though I'd prefer not to have the spare tyre in my middle area!! This isn't about sending out a message of "positive thinking". Of course it is devastating that a relationship has broken down or a loved one is gone. Allow yourself to feel that and express that. However try not to forget about all the good that still exists in your life.What you focus on expands. The more you choose to look at and appreciate what you have in your life, the more you will have to appreciate. The more you dwell on what is lacking, the more there will be lacking. Choose carefully and be kind to yourself and others.
Lots of love,
Sinead Keane Wellness