I’ve been struggling …
So with all that is going on globally at the moment, I feel I am a different woman to what I was a number of weeks back. I had a fluid routine in that every day was different due to different working hours with yoga classes, mediation classes, therapy appointments, school yoga sessions & workshops. Despite every day being different, I was starting to get into a routine where I knew where I was to be & what I was to be doing. When I look back, I really was living the life I have dreamed of for so long. I was present & engaged in what I was doing, pouring love into each & every role I was in. I was excited about my upcoming trip to Thailand where I would work as a therapist at an amazing retreat. I loved that this opportunity was also giving me the chance to continue traveling, something that is very much part of my dream for now. Fast forward 2 weeks & a lot has changed, not just for me but for everyone. My work is no longer possible as it would be putting many people at risk unnecessarily. I am so so grateful that I am in a position where I don’t need to worry too much about bills & meeting my expenditure as it is low, however this does not mean that I’m not genuinely missing the day to day interactions with my clients & students, my sense of purpose when I’ve delivered a heartfelt class. I do not do what I do for money. Of course I need money to survive & pay my bills & create the life I want to live however if I was in this for money, I probably would no be doing this career. The biggest losses for me have been my sense of purpose, my routine, my social connections, my day to day fulfillment.
It feels like an earthquake has rocked beneath me & there are still tremors being felt. One key thing for me however is that I’ve been in the depths of uncertainty before when I lost a dear family member to suicide in August 2017. You see for me that’s the beautiful thing abut pain & struggles, it teaches you things you never wanted to know however it gives you tools that are literally invaluable throughout life. Tools I can apply now to this current situation. The certainty that I will get through this & that you will too. This is part of life. Adversity, uncertainty, vulnerability, not knowing what the future holds. All we can do is be present. Focus on what’s right here right now in this moment. You cannot control the future, or the past for that matter. You can’t even control the present but you can control your response. And that is where your power lies.
Use breath-work to help you grounded in this present moment, take walks outside in nature, tune into your senses- what you smell, hear, feel, taste & see, take action if you want to or need to, practice self-care by running yourself a hot bath, turning off your phone, listening to some music, doing a puzzle, paint, run, read, write. Whatever your thing is! And when you are in the depths of one of those deep emotions we’re all feeling right now, remind yourself you are safe. Nothing is as bad as what we tell ourselves in our head. Remind yourself to breath. Remind yourself to allow yourself to feel it. Remind yourself that this is part of being human; feeling the highs & the lows. And most importantly remind yourself that you are loved & this too shall pass. Is it worth it? Absolutely. When we experience those good days again which we will, we’ll look back at all we learnt & how we now maybe appreciate the little things that little bit more. We’ll view life differently & hopefully even treat one another & ourselves with a little more love & care.
Love to you all,
Sinead Keane Wellness